Sat. June 15, 2024
A couple years ago, we were so good about consistently going hiking on Saturday mornings. It was nice. Then life got in the way. It got super hot. Hikes got uglier.
But this summer Lydia exclaimed, “We should go hiking this Saturday! We haven’t gone at all this year!” For some reason whenever Lydia suggests something, I try to make it happen. Maybe it’s because she voices her thoughts and feelings so little, so I jump when she actually does voice a desire that I can do something about).
There was a lot of grumbling before and through the hike. I usually take a turn walking with each person (mostly Ander & Chase though) and then use that opportunity to air all their pains, grievances, and complaints. I’m not sure how I feel about that. They say that means I’m a “safe” person to share feelings with… but it’s a bit much when there's so. much. complaining. Especially Ander and Chase. They can really dwell on the negative, and their mind is so powerful, they make it real. I don’t want them to develop that habit.
We found a little critter on the path, which really saved the hike. A squishy caterpillar and the adrenaline of having it walk on you was juuuust enough to pull us out of the drudgery.
After this hike I announced to Pat that I don’t think there’s much point in doing Saturday hikes anymore. The rolling hills of sagebrush does nothing for my mental health. The things I love about hiking just don’t happen walking through hot sagebrush. I don’t find it pretty or relaxing. I’m sad to come to that conclusion. It feeds the little voice in my head that says “it was a mistake to move here. If beautiful nature is so important to you… then this is not the place to be.” And that’s a dangerous voice to be on repeat in my brain.
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