Plan A: host a big backyard bash. Feel celebrated by local friends and family. Lots of food, games, and good company.
Well, my backyard is currently a weedy patch of dusty dirt. (picture taken before a carpet of weeds grew...:( )
Plan B: Let Pat whisk me away of a get-away, just the 2 of us. To a place I've never been. Filled with new experiences, eating out, and the luxury of living selfishly for a weekend.
Well, that requires advanced planning, which we didn't do. And my birthday falls right in the middle of craziness that comes with the end of school and ushering in of summer. Plus Mal is gone and wouldn't be able to watch the kids.
Plan C: Show the kids that you can have a lovely enjoyable birthday even when Plan A & B don't work out. And it was indeed lovely and enjoyable.
Having dropped Heidi off at middle school, I closed the front door and shook my shoes off. I walked tiredly to the kitchen summoning my willpower to start the ordeal of Getting The Boys Off To School. But as I rounded the corner, I was surprised to find my red-mop-headed 11 year old. With a big smile, arms stretched out in a V, and holding a sandwich in each hand, he exclaimed "Happy Birthday!!" I walked into his welcoming arms for a hug. When I asked about the sandwiches, he explained that he had made the boys sandwiches for me (and chore I don't love). He happily helped me finish their lunches, and then went on to heat up the pancakes for breakfast. What a sweet and thoughtful thing for Grant to do. He woke up and thought of something that would help me all by himself. It really meant so much to me. Even a bit later when Chase started to break down (crying, tantrum), Grant quickly intervened with patience & kindness. (Chases' tantrums are very draining to me). Later while I was doing some planning in the front room, he ushered in a reluctant Chase to wish me happy birthday as well.
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| My watch wishing me a happy birthday |
For lunch, Pat brought me to Pad Thai. It was delicious! Lydia got to tag along because she had a "virtual" school day while the seniors graduated. I was glad she got to come along. She got the sweet & sour chicken, I got the red curry, and Pat got some dish that ended in King. I ordered mine as mild as possible and it still had a bit of a bite. Pat ordered his medium spice and had to add SO much rice. Even then, his eyes watered and he kept having to sniff his nose, haha. Leslie Danforth stopped by before we ordered to bring me a present (freeze-dried strawberries!) and chatted for a bit, which was so nice. I love seeing friends :)
I got to relax for the most part the rest of the afternoon while Pat took charge of dinner (so nice!). Then afterwards we ate my unique "cake": assorted chocolates. We cut each into small pieces and taste tested each one. We're saving a box for later though because we were all too sick to eat more, blah!
I suppose I should take a minute to wax philosophical about turning 40. I feel so young, yet it's so clear when I look in the mirror or look at other young moms that I am definitely NOT. I'm grateful to have lived a health 40 years. I realize it is a gift many do not get. AND I'm also dismayed to realize what probably every person before me has realized: that you don't live forever. That your body sags and betrays you. That everything get so. darn. hard to even maintain looking slightly normal. I keep the hope that I can achieve the physical goals I want, but man, some days are discouraging. I suppose what really bothers me is that I feel that every day that passes, I get more irrelevant. In our culture ageism is alive and well. I am still clinging to the edges of relevancy...but I can feel it slipping from my grasp. I've always felt the quick passage of time. But it seems that it's passing more and more quickly. I can't help but feel pressure that I need to START my next phase of life. That I should KNOW what I want, and go for it. Alas there is still no clear answer. Until then, I just do my best to cultivate relationships with my children, praaaayyyying that they will turn into adults that I WANT to spend time with (gah!). In the words of Auntie Ellen, I am definitely an old goat. But I try to remember Auntie Litzy's words: the only thing better than turning 40, is turning 50. I sure hope so! I sure hope so...
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