Pat encouraged me to write in my journal to keep a record of my moods and thoughts as my hormones fluctuate in an attempt to "beautiful mind" myself. There was a movie some years ago called "A Beautiful Mind." It was about a college professor that, in essence, starts to go crazy. Specifically, he starts to see halucinations. What was so amazing about him though, and why I remember it so frequently, was because he was so intelligent that he was able to use logic and his knowledge to determine when he was have a hallucination.
I can relate to not being able to trust your own thoughts and feelings. Routinely I am filled with thoughts and feelings that seem so true to me and so real. I'm fortunate in that they have happened predictably enough that Pat is able to smile and shake his head and tell me that this is just part of my natural hormone cycle and I'll get through it. So it's with this that I am trying to "beautiful mind" myself. That even if something is so real and true to me at the moment, I need something to remind me and convince me that it is not true and not real and that it will pass in a few days.
Even last month I was chatting with Pat at lunch and he made the remark "You seem happier today." And I really was. He told me to go right in my journal about how I'm feeling so that when I stopped feeling that way I could remember and we could keep a record. I wasn't sure what to write though so I didn't do anything. This is my attempt to start keeping a record even though I really don't know what to say.
Lately...
We've been going to work on the new house every night for some time now. They painted the inside such dark colors so we've been painting white and it takes layer after layer. The kids have been pretty helpful though which is nice
Lydia is working on her first piece to play at church. It's an arrangement of I wonder when he comes again. It sounds so beautiful.
Every time I turn around Heidi seems to be doing her hair in the mirror or working on some look. Spending significant amount of time on school has been a challenge, but she still plugs along bit by bit.
Anderson finished his latch hook rug yesterday. He's very proud of it. Now he wants to make a scarf for Chase.
Grant continues to love playing with his Legos. His orc set especially. He's been diligent about getting his school work done, which is helped by the fact that he has less subjects than the girls.
Chase is our busy little man. He loves to stay up super late but is never grumpy the next day. He doesn't need any cuddles from me except when we watch a movie together or his good night kisses. He's growing up so fast. He's doing really well with his reading lessons and can now read some short stories on his own. He seems to be enjoying reading. I'm excited for that because it's been a struggle with Anderson. I wonder if Anderson might be dyslexic. It's tiring for him to read for more than a couple minutes and he often switches letters.
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